13 October, 2009

13 October 2009 11:29 PM "wait. what if..."

So for some reason, upon entering college I though that this would be a piece of cake. After taking awhile to figure things out, I'd emerge on top of the game, HEHS style.
Weird how things NEVER seem to work as I plan them.

But it's okay I guess. The problem I have now is that I have to decide. What am I going to do with my life now? I am here at this awesome school for journalism; it only makes sense to continue doing it. But what if I do and I realize that it's...well kind of not what I love? What if I love the idea of being in the newsroom not for the news, but for the room? I like the idea of a close-knit community working together for the greater good, but sans the sticky hairspray and backstabbing?

What if I wanted to be a meaningful journalist to help the world become a better place but really all I want to do is help others become better to make the world better?

and isn't that....teaching?

What if, theoretically, I just decide to become a teacher? Then what am I doing here at Mizzou? I mean, really. If I stay here and get a journalism degree then that would totally defeat the purpose of moving to Missouri! But if I stay and then get to Broadcasting 2 and totally hate my life because I don't "love what I'm doing " enough, then won't that defeat the purpose of college?!

But if I leave, then I started something for nothing. I failed again at something new. Everyone probably struggles a little bit at first right? I mean, at Hoffman, I didn't have that many friends until later on, even though they were all in English with me every day. It took time to figure out what I was doing and where I was going, exactly. I just had a vague idea to look forward to.

Maybe college is like that too. I have to take my time and figure things out.

Until that time, I guess my new life plan can include the best of both worlds:
Finish school here at Mizzou with a degree in English and Journalism and a minor in Spanish Language. Return to el norte and try to find a job somewhere in IL. (NOT Kansas or wherever everyone always says journalists start out). Or if I get to that point where I think I done trying to be a reporter, I can start doing what I think I might really be meant to do: teach others to be reporters and better writers.

<3 sameth

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