the black swan part two

Okay, so just before I get started I just want to say that...Well, I still haven't decided how I feel about this movie.

Let's just examine the SamFactors, shall we?

Basically, everyone that reads this knows I have a serious problem when it comes to evaluating movies. One, I came of age in a time when my colleges were watching things like Avatar which was acclaimed for not plot or acting, but more like how-much-money-one-can-spend-on-movies-to-make-them-look-cool-ness (blasphemy, I know, sorry world). Two, I have always been inclined to use movies as an escape; as somone who normally isn't deeply unhappy with her life, I've always been drawn to glitzy, saccharine and happy movies - preferably with singing. Thus, I give you this declaimer: I am not a movie expert, nor have I really experienced much of life, I am inclined to like immature and saccharine movies and therefore have absolutely no reason to be taken seriously when discussing this movie.

Nevertheless, the internet is always lacking meaningless words (cough) so I give you! MORE BLACK SWAN COMMENTARY!

I think part of the criterion for a good movie is how much people talk about it; no, I don't mean like "wow, that movie seriously sucked ass" obviously, I'm talking about when people discuss a movie with the intention of coming to conclusions or analyzing it. I've definitely done that for this movie and so I can conclude that it was, at the very least, interesting, if not necessarily good.


I mentioned this before in my previous post, but the shaking camera had to go. Decidedly, not only was it uncalled for and cheap, but it also prevented the audience from appreciating the actual dance. Natalie Portman trained for months for this role (although someone told me today that she's pregnant with the choreographer's baby? I find that hard to believe, since anorexics find it difficult to conceive and she is definitely borderline anorexic...) and I just think that they should've focused more on this "art" that she worked so hard for, in both reality and the movie. By forcing the audience to see through the shaking lens whenever it was from her perspective, I essentially couldn't see the dancing, we were limited to just the feeling of the scene. If you're gonna make a movie about dance, show me the dance.

Even when she turns into the black swan, you're not watching her turns, you're just watching the weird special effects of the wings. (which, by the way, totally ruined her form. haha)

Finally, I'd just like to say that I'm no prude, but was Jackie eating out Nat totally called for? I think not. Bleh.

I still can't decide how I feel about this movie. It was confusing and strange but because I'm so often told that my taste in movies limits my understanding of them and appreciation of "good," I'm sure that this movie is worth seeing, if you don't mind being tortured by images of a woman stabbing herself in the face with a nail file. I had to watch "27 Dresses" twice today just to get that picture out of my head. Not that I mind mindless movies about weddings, but still. (shudders, that woman was so creepy!) Well. That's all that I can think of to say about "Black Swan."

In other news, I finally watched the episode of 30 Rock from this season that was live. HILARIOUS. Just FYI ("Why does everything look like a mexican soap opera?" haha). Parks and Rec is still also funny, but watch it BEFORE 30 Rock, because the latter is just so much better that if you watch Parks and Rec second, you'll be supremely let down.

Happy break!

the black swan part one

I can't decide how I feel about this movie. It was either really good, or just ridiculous.

Lets think this one out, shall well?

Well. The plot was certainly interesting. As a certain former teacher of mine so aptly noted, it was about wanting to be so perfect, make such a beautiful thing, that you're willing to die for your craft.

This makes sense, we see it at the beginning of the movie practically spelled out for the audience when the director makes the toast to beauty and all that jazz. Then, natalie portman's character, hearafter referred to as "Nat," goes on to work herself into the ground until she's absolutely gone nuts. Nutty Nat then kills herself after she's achieved "perfection" in her craft.

Well, apart from when she makes the guy drop her at the beginning, but if the Nat says she thought it was perfect at the end, then it was acceptably perfect.

Then, of course, you have the weird lesbian attraction to herself SLASH the girl from that seventies show Mila Kunis, hereafter referred to as "Jackie." (I should mention here that I could call them the correct names, but then that would be too easy and clear, right?) So...just...why? Well, Ahn, my former teacher said that she was using the lesbian attraction to herself as a "safe sexual release." Which I suppose would make sense, if she hadn't hooked up with the two guys when she was out with Jackie, which is obviously NOT a safe release. So is she just observing Jackie and then trying to be more like her? And in her warped mind, that means that she is obsessed with or in love with her?

I guess the sign of a good movie is that it makes you ask questions, right? Or should all questions have answers by the end of the last scene?

I'll try a list:


Pros:

I nearly peed myself when whoever it was appeared in the kitchen during the spastic scene after the other spastic scene when the girl stabs herself in the face.

I screamed and closed my eyes during the stabbing in the face scene.

I gasped when she supposedly stabbed mila in the gut.

Well. those are all reactions...

Cons

I hate the shaky camera - it's so overdone and honestly, I know something is wrong when the score is in a minor key and the sound gets really loud. You don't need to shake the camera.

Friggin almost had an epileptic attack when she was supposed to be high at the dance club. My god, I couldn't watch and my head hurt.

Why didn't the mom want her to see Jackie at the door? That was weird. She hadn't even done anything yet.

They really didn't show us the dancing. It just seems odd to focus so much on the story behind a dance, all for the "beauty of it" and then not show the actual dance. Oh sure, the final scene was nice, but even then we had super up close shots of Nat's face and very few of the actual dance. And the camera was so busy shaking and the effects that made her skin ripple all crazy during every other dance made it essentially impossible to see the show. After all that, I want to be rewarded with this supposedly perfect dance.

HOW THE F*** DID SHE DANCE WITH A STAB WOUND?! I mean honestly, there's just no way. Not that movies are about accuracies now, but that's just over the line....


Well. That was thoroughly inconclusive.

I'll sleep on it.

This break is such a TEASE

I would just like to point out that this break is such a tease. Oh thanksgiving break, why must you taunt me so?

A short 10 days with multiple, time-consuming assignments is just so unfair when all I can think about is food, how I'm now allowed to listen to Christmas music and food.

food food foooood

wait. where was I?

Ah right. The distracting lure of winter break.

Only two short weeks and then I'm all yours.

an update on my goals

So! At the beginning of this semester, I outlined some goals for myself, as follows:

GOALS FOR THIS YEAR:

1) reduce facebook usage

2) increase creative writing and reading

3) get a job that pays me money and ISN'T VOLUNTEER ---___---

4) see more of the world

5) don't fail my classes!

Let's review how I'm doing:

1) epic fail.

2) LOL yeah right.

3) yeah, that didn't work out so well.

4) I went to Hartsburg, Missouri, twenty whole minutes south of Columbia! That's a start!

5) yeah, about that. apparently, racism class is difficult to pass.

So. Now, I'm renewing my goals. Except for No. 2, that was just silly.

I WILL spend less time facebooking.

I WILL find a job, once I get back from illinois in January

I WILL explore my own city and others.

I WILL try not to fail my classes, but can't make any promises there...

BLARFENGARR

If you don't get the title, that's fine. But you should definitely watch the SNL with Betty White. You haven't really lived until you've seen it.

Well, I'm almost done with the semester, and the sense of real life starting is slowly closing in. I'll be a junior at the end of this semester, and then the summer and then I'll be in London.

Oh yeah, I'm going to London. I'm seriously going to find Hogwarts while I'm there. How hard could it be, right? Haha.

The only thing is that I have to make $2000 before I go to England. Why you might ask? Because Mizzou has the AUDACITY to charge me out-of-state tuition, EVEN WHEN IN ENGLAND. I won't EVEN BE IN MISSOURI and it still costs me more.

Thus, the only solution, since this school is racist and won't give me the diversity scholarship for being "multi-racial," even though that's the only ethnic group that is so underrepresented that we're not even allowed our own category.

So, if I make $2000, I will have the ahem, honor, of becoming a resident of this grand state, and receiving in-state tuition rates.

problems with this plan: I have no job. I have no job prospects and...Only half a year to make $2000. I worked almost 40 hours a week last summer at home and still only made like $1500...and I was getting paid almost ten dollars an hour. So I'm not really looking forward to trying to be a journalist and working this summer. It's really all very unfortunate.

In other news, I just applied to be a tour guide, and I hung out with the MU Tour Team this weekend at the K-state game. They're all so nice; one of the guys I met was even going to do Teach for America next year, which would be so cool. Plus that was something I was considering doing if I don't go to grad school or find a job. I just don't want to go to the deep south, so there's that to worry about...If I could get placed in like La Villita or Pilsen, that'd be the best...

I digress. So! I am hoping they'll hire me, but apparently they aren't even looking at your resume, just schedule, at least at first. So I was probably rejected since I always have a terrible schedule. (EX: I don't get lunch on monday, tuesday and thursday this semester. In class basically all day until 5) But whatever. I can always apply again. I just am so good at walking backwards and love helping high school kids, so they'll be missing out! Haha.

Was talking to one of the graduating producers who had been offered the weekend gig in Maine for $30,000 a year. Am now even more worried about what's going to happen to me in two years. I hope my parents are okay with me moving back in and that Mizzou better be ready for me to abuse "the Mafia" network.

Did I mention that Rick Sanchez? The guy who was unceremoniously fired from CNN's "Rick's List," even knew about the Mizzou Mafia within journalism? That was his immediate reaction as soon as I told him where I went to school. So that's slightly reassuring, but not really. I totally don't want to be fetching coffee for the rest of my life.

It's still fall here in Missouri, at least it was all last week. It's a little chilly now, but it just reminds me of home. I'll be home soon!

Keep hanging on!

the Social Network, as described by an awkward, antisocial nerd.

Just saw “The Social Network.” It was actually pretty well done, though the copious amount of litigation within the movie was, without a doubt, a bit dull. The film provided a background story to the social networking site, Facebook, we all know, love and stalk with.

The movie, starring Jesse Eisenburg, takes the audience back through Marc Zuckerberg’s days at Harvard and the founding fathers of “the” Facebook – the “the” being dropped by JT’s character Sean Parker, founder of napster, and currently only used by the Betty White’s of the world.

Having grown up through the days of xanga, LiveJournal, MySpAcE, AIM and Facebook, this movie provides an outlet where I can safely regurgitate all of those repressed memories into one hour-and-a-half movie of reminiscing. Eisenburg, as Marc Zuckerberg, portrays an awkward-yet-still-a-douche of a guy, concerned with apparently nothing but himself. We see Eduardo Saverin played by the man-candy, Andrew Garfield, hereafter referred to at "Hottie McHotsauce", as his only friend and financial backer finally take a stab at him in the end of the movie in which he yells at Zuckerberg for being jealous of him and his membership in the Phoenix club, a prestigious society on campus that I am assuming is something similar to the 7s, here on campus at MU, storms out of the offices, and sues his ass like nobody’s business. The movie is predominantly about a new fad taking the world essentially by storm and showing the audience, guaranteed Facebook users, how exactly Facebook came to be. The interesting story here is not the love interest for Zuckberg - the rather unexciting Erica Albright who tells Zuckerberg off at the beginning of the movie for being the ass that he is and dumps him - but rather the bromance that exists between Eduardo and Zuckerberg. It was like watching some sort of romantic comedy TV show, with the girl that always gives in, then finally loses her temper. It was just ridiculous. PS Eduardo has Brenda Song as a girlfriend, and she is also ridiculous. She lights a scarf, and then an entire bed, on fire. Literally. What a badass.

I can’t lie and say this movie didn’t make me feel bad about myself; after all, I’m an undergrad in college of the millennial generation and yet, I’ve done absolutely nothing with my life. Unfortunately, computers and I are the worst of friends and I can’t really do anything with that, but I’m going to have to look into being something important. After all, in a generation of narcissism, having your own Facebook profile isn’t enough. I want my name in lights and all over the web. Just having your own profile page is like thinking a trailer in the backcountry is as good as a mansion in the Hamptons; it’s still got an address, but virtually worthless. Will be working on making a name for myself soon.

Back to the movie. Of course, within the bromance there is the competition with another man, Justin Timberlake or as he’s known in this movie, Sean Park. As the failed entrepreneur who co-founded Napster, he swoops in with a Will Schuester look and enough hair product to grease an entire country. JT takes Zuckerberg’s heart by storm and proves to be a critical element in his eventual alienation from really anyone he’s ever cared about.

LONG STORY SHORT: This movie was definitely worth seeing. Just so whoever reads this doesn’t think I’m an idiot, there were some nice moments of cinematography or whatever. The moment Zuckerberg hears about Park’s arrest, the lights in the brand new office, symbolic of the glamorous future he’d hoped for, went out. His life may still be the book of faces, but it’s not the bright and shiny one he’d hoped for. When Park went to the party he was busted at, actually, the overall color scheme changed to a grimy brown – the lights were dimmed on-screen and the viewer got generally nervous for Park. After all, Eduardo, hottieMcHotsauce, had warned about him before! And then, lo and behold, shit gets real and JT does NOT bring sexy back. Zucky still loves cha-chi and THE END. Facebook still rules the world (as I sit here trying to check my notifications except my apartment internet NEVER WORKS) and no matter how much of a douche Zuckerberg is to his friends…we’re all still going to stay his so we can see ours.

welcome back welcome BACK welcome baack!

Hey y'all! It's good to be back. Been updating my other blog, which is called samsfirstclub.blogspot.com, by the way, but my personal life that it totally unrelated to my apartment keeps creeping in.

SO I thought it might be time for a insomniac update! It's not even 11 PM tonight, so you all should be impressed.

My classes are decent this year. I decided to double up on introductory journalism classes which isn't recommended but it's not nearly as bad as counselors would have you believe. I'm in Honors J21oo and it's annoying, sure, but definitely manageable thus far. My professor seems nice enough and he's forgiven my many transgressions in terms of turning things in on time to the internet machine. He keeps assigning these news quizzes and I have seriously failed every single one of them. :( I watch the news EVERY DAY. And consider myself somewhat of a local news junkie, so WHY am I failing these? Because the questions are flipping HARD and also because I didn't watch the US Open this ONE TIME. So dumb.

Just some advice for teachers? DO NOT ASSIGN ONLINE THINGS. I seriously cannot remember to do them because the INTERNET IS FOR FUN NOT WORK. It really concerns me that I seem to be incapable of doing online assignments without getting distracted or forgetting about them. Frankly, I think part of it is a generational thing. Millenials (my generation) love the internet but just for surfing and googling things they don't know. Spending hours clicking through online tutorials does not sound like fun to us and frankly, we have a tough time getting through it because I can easily click on facebook if I'm already on the internet.

And teachers that use online tutorials are just lazy and don't want to teach us or print out their own handouts. I mean, honestly, how hard can it be?? I am paying you to educate me, please do so.

GOALS FOR THIS YEAR:

1) reduce facebook usage

2) increase creative writing and reading

3) get a job that pays me money and ISN'T VOLUNTEER ---___---

4) see more of the world

5) don't fail my classes!

blah blah blah

HOME FOR THE SUMMER!

Went downtown today, and was almost instantly overcome with regret. WHY did I EVER choose to leave such a vibrant, bustling place? It's terrible, how god awful i feel whenever I remember how I didn't pick DePaul because it was "too expensive." What a joke. I should've just gone there.

I've missed my city. So often, my senior year of high school, I would joke with a teacher, Mr. Ahn. I'd say, "after all this, I'm moving to Hawai'i." And he would respond with a comment something along the lines of "you and I would like it there; it's a bunch of people like us."

I've spent the last year or so trying to figure out where my people are. And sometimes I feel like they're here. And other times I just feel like I'm lost.

I don't know.

Sai, my unofficial younger seester, was tapped to give the speech at the senior luncheon. I tried to help her come up with some ideas for her speech - a REAL Special Occasion Speech, finally! - and that just brought back a flood of memories.

I can't believe I had the privilege of gazing up at the night sky from the Chicago harbor, with jazz music playing in the background with all my friends dressed to the nines, not once but THREE times. I can't believe i've seen more broadway plays in the last three years than I care to count and I've been to both Costa Rica and Spain. I've worn hippy clothes to school, a tutu, sarah palin outfit, and about 324789372849327 cardigans. I've spent more hours in that silly publications office than I care to remember, and took a bus to see my oldest friend in minnesota. I applied to college, got into college, walked across a stage in a cap and gown, and then actually went. I performed one of the funniest dance skits that HEHS has ever seen and I took a picture next to a plaque with my name on it in the hollowed halls of my high school.

I have lived in a different, more hellacious state (Missourah) and seen what it's like elsewhere. I've been to DC, Barcelona, Grand Rapids, NYC, and San Jose. I've met, new exciting people from all over the country.

And I'm still most happy here.

My, I have led a wonderful life. Thank you for being a part of it. :)

Sam

SPRING HAS SPRUNG

Hello Blogosphere! It has been a very busy couple of weeks since January. I am in real classes this semester, so it has become increasingly difficult to add to the annoying chatter of the vast expanse that is the interwebs.

Well, this semester I started working at KOMU, the news station in town that is run almost exclusively by journalism students at the University of Missouri. I've been working as a PA, which, in short, means throwing video together for teases and whatnot. We're basically the lowest form of life in the newsroom, but I still really like doing it. There is hope yet! haha.

I'm in this Econ class that I totes magotes am loving. Even though sometimes I feel like dying in there. It's nice to be in a classroom too, rather than a large lecture hall. It forces me to pay more attention.

Dogwood trees smell like POOP. Mizzou, WHAT were you THINKING when you planted a million of them?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH CHERRY BLOSSOMS?! [sigh]

Went to Minnesota for part of break and had a great time. Wish I'd gone to school closer to friends...and cities.....and not in missouri....oh well.

Anyways...that is all.

25 Jan 2010 12:23 AM "Words I Hate"

I really dislike the word "Blogosphere."

This is a motion to stop using it in everyday language. Also, "moist" is a terrible word that should never be uttered.

Here is a longer list:

Crocs

Panties

Blago (as in, failed governor of my home state, Illinois. I feel this word makes us refer to him much too affectionately. We should only refer to him as an "it" and he should have a title like "The most recent failure from the Chicago Political Machine")

Missourah.

That's all I can think of.

Thanks for obliging.

Sameth

20 Jan 2010 11 PM "welcome back, welcome back, WELCOME BACK"

Imagine the title to the tune of that song. Obviously.

So I'm starting classes again, which means it's time to think seriously. I know, I know, that's not very fun. But I'll review all the movies I saw over break in a later post to make up for it.

What I want to discuss is politics, or rather more importantly, Patriotism.

Not being a conservative doesn't make anyone any less patriotic. Liberals are not, as many like to portray them as, child-coddling, vegetarians who don't eat fast food and always have their own gardens that grow organic foods right alongside pot. Granted, some are, but mainly liberals are just normal people.

Not being a liberal doesn't mean you're upper or upper-middle class, only drink scotch and wear a suit everyday. You probably aren't a housewife and don't believe in killing innocent people in the middle east. You're probably just another normal person.

No one believes in destroying the Earth. No one believes in letting homeless people starve in order to protect their own private funds, and no one believes in killing children. I'm so tired of hearing this stupid partisan, excuse my language, bull shit.
What America needs isnt another revision of the "trickle down economics"theory or a different version of healthcare bill.

What we actually need is something much more simple: We need to re-learn the lessons that we learned in kindergarden. We need to remember how to get along with each other. How can we expect to do anything to help the world, or even just ourselves, if everyone is so wrapped up in their own ideology?

I'm a moderate.

Call me crazy, but I'm actually glad Brown won in the Senate. America, things are a bit more balanced now. Remember to listen to everyone's voice, because everyone matters. Rash decisions are usually bad ones and healthcare, though it's been talked about for ages, needs to be thought out. Can we really afford it while still fighting on two fronts? Does it need to be at the top of our priorities? Or should we be focused on other things, like fixing the economy or providing higher education for those who can't afford it? Bettering our school districts, or perhaps providing a place to sleep for someone who needs it?

I realize that this might be mistaken for inconsiderate, but healthcare isn't, I don't think, going to happen in the near future thanks to the lack of majority the Dems have in the Senate now. Oh sure, they can keep trying, but let's be honest. How far will it get before it's shut down just like the last time? Shouldn't the Senate, and all of Congress really, be more focused on things that we CAN make change in? Obama swept the nation with feelings of patriotism and excited us ALL with his rhetoric of a better nation. We can still have that; it doesn't end with healthcare and Hillary's suits with padded shoulders. My advice, were I worthy enough to offer it to the the man that Chicago likes to list as a native, would be to FOCUS. Whenever something doesn't work, don't continue to bang your head against that brick wall. DO SOMETHING. America is in a tough spot and healthcare isn't going to fix it.

I love my country. And I love the people that fill it (even the southerners, for all the jokes I made about them). What we need to do is take a bit of the advice that the song "Imagine" by John Lennon says: "Imagine all the people, living life in peace.. hope someday you will join us, and the world be as one." Don't let our differences divide us. Sit down at that round table and work things out, with the interests of your CONSTITUENTS in mind and America can..no, WILL be reunited.

-Sameth

12 Jan 2010 1:14 AM "I love home."

I am SO glad I am home. I love it here. Even though it's freezing. It's just so nice to have everything on hand, parents to yell at me and provide cash, and home cooked meals. I also love having a TV when I want it and watching Glee at top volume. It's just so nice to be here.

Guess that's not part of growing up, though.

Anyways, so Luke is coming to town tomorrow (well, I suppose it's today, since it's already 1) and I am just so excited! Luke so happens to be one of the best things about missourah, so I am excited to see him. Thankfully, I've mostly planned this out, but left a few things kind of loose because everyone knows that nothing ever works out the way I plan it if things are set in stone.

Hung out with Angela again tonight; we made our infamous chocolate balls (aka oreo truffles). They were delicious. Then we watched Glee and skype chatted her friends. Not sure how I feel about this boyfriend. He seems a little weird..and by weird I mean he sent her a bunch of calc problems that she had to solve to decode a message and then wouldn't appear on the camera during our skype conversation because his "hair" didn't look as good as he wanted it to? Seems so weird...Like, honestly...what the efff?

Well, who am I to judge. Not like I've had a boyfriend in recent history, I guess!

Can't wait to see Luke tomorrow! :)

6 January 2010 2:15 AM "Happy new year!"

Hello to all and happy new years! It's funny to think that an entire decade has gone by since the start of this millenium; it's also weird to think that I'm almost two decades old!

To ring in the new year, I went over a to Claire's house and we celebrated with a Gatsby-themed party. (11:59 PM) Now don't laugh, because it was actually really fun. Angela and I bought these ridiculous dresses from Salvation Army (3 PM)- using only our wits and Spanish skills - and then tried to tailor Ang's to fit(4 PM). It was about 2 feet too long, complete with this horrible chiffon train. First, we hacked off about 2 feet, trying to keep a bit of the train to make the dress "flouncy" in the back, only to realize that that would mean making the dress still about 5 inches too long. Naturally, being the well trained homemakers Angela and I are, we immediately knew how to hem a dress...just kidding. We didn't even know how to thread the stupid needle on the sewing machine. (5 PM) To be honest, I was impressed that I knew my family owned a sewing machine. We spent awhile trying, before we turned to YOUTUBE to have this british woman show us, step by step. (5:20 PM) This was partially successful, but thankfully, my dear mother came home and threaded it for us.(5:45 PM) She wouldn't do the rest though, so off we were, just sewing any which way to make a hem on the stupid dress. (6:15 PM)

In the end, we had so much left over fabric that we decided we would make our headdresses out of it. Of course, that would require feathers, so my dear friend Rebecca, who works at the local craft store, picked us up some. We managed to sew seams on both sides of the little... bands that were to go around our heads and attach feathers. (6:30 PM) Impressed? So was I.

And so, we finished our outfits with an hour to spare before the party started and were hailed as great successes at the party. My outfit, for all that work, was a little bit less than remarkable, but hey, there's always next year.

My next idea is to plan a dinner party - not that I can cook - and have all of my friends over. My family has this lovely dining table that never gets any use. In fact, I believe we've eaten in that dining room about 3 times since we bought that table last year.

I wonder what I should make... Just watched "Julie and Julia" though, so that might have something to do with this idea. I am sure that I can read a recipe and make something more simple. I mean, people have been doing it for years without so much as a college degree. I'll be fine.