03 October, 2010

the Social Network, as described by an awkward, antisocial nerd.

Just saw “The Social Network.” It was actually pretty well done, though the copious amount of litigation within the movie was, without a doubt, a bit dull. The film provided a background story to the social networking site, Facebook, we all know, love and stalk with.

The movie, starring Jesse Eisenburg, takes the audience back through Marc Zuckerberg’s days at Harvard and the founding fathers of “the” Facebook – the “the” being dropped by JT’s character Sean Parker, founder of napster, and currently only used by the Betty White’s of the world.

Having grown up through the days of xanga, LiveJournal, MySpAcE, AIM and Facebook, this movie provides an outlet where I can safely regurgitate all of those repressed memories into one hour-and-a-half movie of reminiscing. Eisenburg, as Marc Zuckerberg, portrays an awkward-yet-still-a-douche of a guy, concerned with apparently nothing but himself. We see Eduardo Saverin played by the man-candy, Andrew Garfield, hereafter referred to at "Hottie McHotsauce", as his only friend and financial backer finally take a stab at him in the end of the movie in which he yells at Zuckerberg for being jealous of him and his membership in the Phoenix club, a prestigious society on campus that I am assuming is something similar to the 7s, here on campus at MU, storms out of the offices, and sues his ass like nobody’s business. The movie is predominantly about a new fad taking the world essentially by storm and showing the audience, guaranteed Facebook users, how exactly Facebook came to be. The interesting story here is not the love interest for Zuckberg - the rather unexciting Erica Albright who tells Zuckerberg off at the beginning of the movie for being the ass that he is and dumps him - but rather the bromance that exists between Eduardo and Zuckerberg. It was like watching some sort of romantic comedy TV show, with the girl that always gives in, then finally loses her temper. It was just ridiculous. PS Eduardo has Brenda Song as a girlfriend, and she is also ridiculous. She lights a scarf, and then an entire bed, on fire. Literally. What a badass.

I can’t lie and say this movie didn’t make me feel bad about myself; after all, I’m an undergrad in college of the millennial generation and yet, I’ve done absolutely nothing with my life. Unfortunately, computers and I are the worst of friends and I can’t really do anything with that, but I’m going to have to look into being something important. After all, in a generation of narcissism, having your own Facebook profile isn’t enough. I want my name in lights and all over the web. Just having your own profile page is like thinking a trailer in the backcountry is as good as a mansion in the Hamptons; it’s still got an address, but virtually worthless. Will be working on making a name for myself soon.

Back to the movie. Of course, within the bromance there is the competition with another man, Justin Timberlake or as he’s known in this movie, Sean Park. As the failed entrepreneur who co-founded Napster, he swoops in with a Will Schuester look and enough hair product to grease an entire country. JT takes Zuckerberg’s heart by storm and proves to be a critical element in his eventual alienation from really anyone he’s ever cared about.

LONG STORY SHORT: This movie was definitely worth seeing. Just so whoever reads this doesn’t think I’m an idiot, there were some nice moments of cinematography or whatever. The moment Zuckerberg hears about Park’s arrest, the lights in the brand new office, symbolic of the glamorous future he’d hoped for, went out. His life may still be the book of faces, but it’s not the bright and shiny one he’d hoped for. When Park went to the party he was busted at, actually, the overall color scheme changed to a grimy brown – the lights were dimmed on-screen and the viewer got generally nervous for Park. After all, Eduardo, hottieMcHotsauce, had warned about him before! And then, lo and behold, shit gets real and JT does NOT bring sexy back. Zucky still loves cha-chi and THE END. Facebook still rules the world (as I sit here trying to check my notifications except my apartment internet NEVER WORKS) and no matter how much of a douche Zuckerberg is to his friends…we’re all still going to stay his so we can see ours.

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